Tag Archives: Trust

Step Off the Edge and Into Love

21 Nov

The birthday of a sweet little friend is quickly coming up.  She will be celebrating four years of full on, love-out-loud, beautiful life—four years of miracle living.

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addy3Four years that were anything but a certainty on the day she arrived. This was the news given to the world the day Addy Josie made her debut.

  • November 30, 2009 (fb status)
    • Addyson Josie ///////  born at 7:42am, 8lbs 11oz. having some troubles breathing but stable. need lots of prayers for her.

Her introduction to planet earth was a little bumpy and the ride did not get any smoother over the coming days.  What seemed to be “some breathing trouble” initially, quickly escalated to a fight for every breath and a circulatory system that would not cooperate.  Miss Addy was transferred to a larger hospital and took up residence in the NICU.

  • November 30, 2009 (fb status)
    • Addyson is on her way to /////////// in ///////////, having troubles breathing. Hopefully I will be released tomorrow to go down and see her.

See the last sentence of that update – Momma had to stay behind.  Imagine the ache of that goodbye to her baby girl.  All the fear that could have flooded her heart.  All the worry that could have overtaken her.  All the sorrow that might have washed over her.  I honestly don’t know where her mind went that afternoon but I know it was hard on her.  The pain of it was all over her face when I visited her that afternoon.  She didn’t share what she was thinking but I know she did some business with her Father in Heaven and I know she came out with a quiet resolve and a determined peace.  She chose not to shrink back but rather to call out every prayer warrior willing to do battle and to trust Him for the outcome.  And regardless of the news of the day, that’s where she stayed.  Firmly planted in Him and counting on His people.

  • December 3, 2009 (fb status)
    • Back over to the NICU Addyson is stable, we are waiting for her little body to correct it’s circulatory system. This could take days to weeks depending on her body. She needs prayers for healing, I’ll keep trying to post updates on here. Thanks everyone for the support and prayers.

So Momma and Daddy gazed at their baby girl in her isolet, unable to hold her, but absolutely willing their sweet baby girl to breath with everything in them.  I can’t say what went through Daddy’s heart because men don’t tend to give voice to much in those situations.  But Addy’s Momma rolled 1 Peter 5:7 through her heart over and over again as she sat, watched, and prayed over her little girl.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV,1984)

Here at home we answered the call.  We prayed over that little girl.  We fasted for that child.  We linked arms in the heavenlies and humbled ourselves before God asking for a miracle.  We reminded ourselves that the child we were praying for was loved by Him far more than we could imagine and that she had an angel that was always gazing into the face of the Father.  His thoughts are most certainly higher than ours and His ways beyond our understanding, but we knew without a doubt that no matter the outcome His attention and His affection were on that baby girl.

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 “For I tell you that their angels in heaven

always see the face of my Father in heaven.

Matthew 18:10 (NIV,1984)

Little Miss Addy surrounded by love and enveloped in prayer—quite a beginning. (And it strikes me as I type those words that I’ve never praised as hard for a single healthy life as I prayed for the one who was in danger.  That’s some food for thought on my part.) Prayers were said all around the country for Addy Jo–people from Michigan to Florida, lifting this little one before the Throne—with Momma leading the charge.  She desired healing for her baby and she had her eyes fixed on the Healer.

  • December  3, 2009 (fb status)
    • Addyson’s labs are looking excellent, praise the Lord for answered Prayers. we are still a long way. thanks everyone for the prayers and support. Keep them coming
  • December 5, 2009 (fb status)
    • so the Doctors made rounds this morning and believe that Addyson has rounded the corner and is ready to be taken off the vent. This is done slowly over the next 24 to 48 hours. Prayers that she tolerates it and will be off by Monday!!! I am so excited to get to hold that little girl!
  • December 6, 2009 (fb status)
    • So another great night and morning. Plans are to have Addy off the vent this afternoon and have the central line out tomorrow. So that means that I might get to hold that little girl tomorrow!!!!! God is a miracle worker, he heard our prayers and has answered!  

The praise and prayers of a Momma’s heart.  The want to hold her baby girl and give the love she had been whispering to that little heart tangible, physical presence.  She had arms of love –wide open– waiting to pull her little one close.

  • December 6, 2009 (fb status)

I finally got to hold Her ! Hooray ! PRaise GoD !

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“I will praise the LORD all my life;

I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

Psalm 146:2

  • December 6, 2009 (fb status)
    • As you can see by the pictures. The Vent is out, I got to give her a bath and hold her today! What an awesome day! “I will praise the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. Psalms 146:2

The battle that raged over Addy Jo was fierce.  Momma, Daddy, and every warrior who answered the call fought with tenacity and perseverance.  But little Miss Addy, did not worry for a single moment.  She did not fret or stew.  She just kept inhaling and exhaling.  Fighting the good fight with the tools she had been given.  Moving from one moment to the next.  At rest, right where God had placed her.

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And God, who does not change, performed a miracle that we could recognize.  No matter what the outcome would have been God would have brought beauty from it, but in this instance, even my limited human vision could see and comprehend His Goodness.

There are times in my life when I have to believe what I know to be true over what my eyes see and my heart perceives to be the circumstance.  Just like you, I’ve walked through times that didn’t seem beautiful to me. Times when I don’t recognize the miracle.  I know it’s there because I know the heart of my God is Unfailing Love.  But, I fully confess that there must be some uncovered, unbelieving places in my heart that won’t grab hold of that truth. If there wasn’t I would just keep inhaling and exhaling, moving from one moment to the next, fighting the good fight with the tools I have, and be at rest right where God has placed me – even when I don’t comprehend my circumstances.

The verse Addy’s Momma claimed as her own, 1 Peter 5:7, reads like this from the Message:

Live carefree before God; He is most careful with you.  1 Peter 5:7 (MSG)

Carefree living.  Inhaling and Exhaling.  Moment to moment.  At rest, right where He has placed you.  Oh Sweet One, The I AM is MOST CAREFUL WITH YOU.  And with me.  It is why we can be free of the cares of this world.  His care and His Love are our assurance of the miracle.  And while I would love for both of us to recognize it every time, to always comprehend the miracle in the midst of life, I just don’t think it’s possible this side of Glory.  You know all too well that life on planet earth is not for the faint of heart.  Storms gather above our heads and rain falls on each and every one of us.  We stand at the edge of our circumstances and we peer down, unable to see the outcome.  Uncertain of the beauty. Unable to comprehend the goodness.

But what if, as we leaned over the edge of the unknown,  we inhaled and we exhaled, and we called to mind the things we know?

  • November 29, 2010 (fb status)
    • Tomorrow is Addy’s 1st Birthday!! The miracle Baby is a year old, I cannot believe it!!! Praise the Lord for this little ray of sunshine !!!
  • December 1, 2010 (fb status) 
    • I am still celebrating little Miss Addy Today as well. Last year at this time, was the biggest hurdle our family has had to endure together. With the GRACE of God He healed Addy’s little body. I believe in Miracles.. I sure do.
  • November 30, 2011 (fb status)
    • Today is Addyson’s 2nd Birthday!! HaPpY BiRtHdAy to my Miracle Baby!! Not one day goes by where I don’t thank the Lord for that little girl! He preformed Miracles right in front of my eyes at /////// NICU.. I am so thankful we get the chance to see her grown and raise her! Sooo let’s Celebrate! Happy Birthday!!
  • November 30, 2012 (fb status)
    • Happy Birthday to Miss Addy Jo! Today she turns 3!! My little miracle baby is thriving and such a blessing to her family & friends! The way she came into this world helps me to remember daily God could of took her but knew I needed to watch my little one grow, I thank Him everyday for trusting me to raise her up to serve Him. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADDYSON JOSIE!

Sister, we have no idea of the battle raging over us.  We don’t possess the eyes to fully see our circumstance.  But if we will open our hearts just a little wider, if we will fix our eyes on the Healer, we will see Him.  His feet are firmly planted and His arms are opened wide.  His attention and His affection are resolutely fixed on you.

He will NOT waiver in His Love. 

He will NOT fail you. 

He will NOT let you fall. 

Girlfriend, step off the edge of your circumstances – He is Faithful. You may not know the outcome but you Know the One who does.  Take the leap of faith.  Believe Him to be who He says He is.  Trust Him to be who He always has been and know, without a doubt, that when you jump the Arms of Love are waiting . . . just for you.

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♥ Happy Birthday Addy Josie ♥

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Mrs. B’s Morning . . . How Cool Is That?!?

11 Sep

Just a quick blurb this morning to share a couple things and hopefully, there is someone out there that needed to hear them as much as I did.  I am in the midst of recovering from a collapsed lung.  I am also in the midst of preparing to share the Word in front of a group of Sisters from my home church next weekend.  I cannot tell you how God has used my fear over this weekend to strengthen my faith nor can I adequately paint a picture of the way the enemy has tried to twist it in my mind.

We have encountered obstacle after obstacle where this retreat is concerned.  You name it and the Biddinger Crew has looked it square in the eye.  Enough so that I have wondered if I had reached outside my bounds, if I was trying to labor in a field that God hadn’t called me to or stepped outside my appointed area of influence. My mind has tried to run amok with this thing time and time again.  But over and over, God has been there putting the Sword of the Spirit firmly in my hand and giving me Scripture to engage in the combat.  Time and time again, He sent my Nehemiah Man to the wall for me and sent Sweet Friends to refresh my heart.

This morning, as I was contemplating all of this, the thought came into my mind that I had been given the perfect way to gracefully bow down to my fear.  I could simply say I didn’t think my recovery would be far enough along.  And I began to turn this over in my mind and mull the idea that perhaps this was exactly what God had intended.  And all of this before my feet even hit the floor this morning.  The enemy appears to be an early riser but . . . . The God of More, the One who takes my anxious thoughts and gives me peace, He never sleeps or slumbers.  His eye is always upon His own.

Ever patient with me and bringing to life the Truth that His mercies are new every morning, He set about again to chat with this thick-headed child.  I just can’t help but marvel at the fact that He doesn’t constantly deep sigh at me, cross His arms, and tap His Holy foot in my direction.  But He doesn’t.  He continues to work with me.  It’s no wonder I giggle and relate so well when Paul tells the Philippians, “Oh I don’t mind repeating myself.  Perhaps this time you’ll catch it.” (Marilyn Paraphrase)

So, with no deep sigh and no Holy foot tapping, God began to speak to me by combining the Truth of His Word with the obedience of His saints.

First, I got a series of beautiful texts from my Sweet Girl before 7:30 this morning.

Text One:

“Mrs. B!  You won’t need to find a standing stone to remind you of God’s strength and healing in this situation!  It’s literally written on your chest!  How cool is that!?!”

She had no idea that the theme verse for the retreat is Proverbs 3:3 and the very thing I had been studying the evening before was His Testimony written on the tablet of my heart.  But I had not considered the stitched up gash left behind by the chest tube.  You are right Sweet Girl – How cool is that!?!

Let love and faithfulness never leave you;

bind them around your neck,

write them on the tablet of your heart.

Proverbs 3:3 (NIV, 1984)

Next text:

“I hope you get to spend time delighting in the Lord this morning Momma, because oh! He is delightful!
Listen to this:

Lam 3:27-33 “It is good for a man to beat the yoke while he is young…Though [the Lord] brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love.  For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.”
How God wishes we could learn the easy way, but He would rather bring us into His best for us as soon as possible than let us be comfy but unsatisfied! Praise the Lord for His mighty works this morning Mrs B!”

She did not know that the introductory teaching session will involve the “yoke of __________” we hang around our necks in place of God’s love and faithfulness. She did not know that I was grasping for understanding of this affliction — trying to discern the purpose of God.

She did not know – but He did.

Moving on to my morning devotionals. I receive the verse of the day which was Psalm 121:1-2 today, Girlfriends in God, and one other.

Opened the first one and read the opening lines:

In Christ, you are enormously gifted. You have an unseen enemy who is after that gift. 2 Tim.1:14 “Protect that good thing entrusted to you.” – Beth Moore

Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you–

guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

2 Timothy 1:14 (NIV, 1984)

Ok Lord, I’m listening.  Those thoughts are my own fears and I will not succumb.  I’m announcing to the heavenlies that I’m standing firm in JESUS.  Dressed head-to-toe in Him, fully armored up and believing that the prayers of the saints are at my back, I will be brave.  I will cast every anxiety on you because you care for me.  And I will not shrink back. Nothing, absolutely, nothing is beyond Christ Jesus and I refuse to sell Him short.

Faith isn’t about my feelings but, I confess to you that I love the sense of His Good Pleasure falling on me.   No deep sigh to be heard.  No crossed arms vibe in the room.  No floor tremor from a tapping foot.

He took my anxiety, my prayer and my petition, and He gave me His peace.  He took my less-than, who-wants-this junk and He gave me Himself.  He is always the God of More.  I cannot say it enough.

So God had reassured me through the obedience of the saints and His Truth.  But He wasn’t quite finished yet.  He had one more thing to say on the subject.  I opened my last devotional and read Romans 12:11 (NLT). . . (don’t you love HIs humor)

Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.

Marilyn paraphrase again, “Child, you’ve been hanging around in your uncertainty long enough.  Go to work. ”

I have to believe that while the name at the beginning of that sentence may change, the message is meant for every Sister reading this post.  Beloved, don’t you let the voice of the enemy shout you down–You declare that Love speaks louder. Don’t you let those doubts make you feel small–You proclaim that Truth is bigger. And don’t you let that serpent tell you that you are less-than because Girlfriend, YOU SERVE THE GOD OF MORE!

(Written with much love for my Sweet Child and thankfulness for her inability to keep the goodness of her God to herself.  I love you Punkin!)

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